Me: Ya know, if you weren't right all the time I might like you more.
Jay: Not true. I'd still be devastatingly attractive and witty.
Me: Just because I'd do you, doesn't mean I'd like you. Hasn't college taught you anything?
Me: What is wrong with you? Why do I keep you around, you'd sell me out for a blow job and a snickers bar!
Jeff: Probably; and I don't even like snickers.
"you should do it on the stove, with some gloves on, nothing makes you feel more like a dirty housewife.."
"uhh, there's usually rice on my stove.."
Myra: Me and my boyfriend are all excited because now that I have birth control he doesn't have to pull out anymore.
(She says this randomly to me while completely sober as we're straightening racks of jeans at work.)
Me: *stares* Yeah, that's a really good way to kill the mood. (Mind you, I WAS stoned.)
Myra: Yeah. Especially when he comes fast.
me - "i'm a lesbian."
creepy bar guy - "that's great and all, but where do i fit into the equation?"
me - "umm...you don't."
erin - "look at those two cars driving down the road together! that is dangerous! and that guy's going to school. at night! also dangerous!"
^lmfao...omg this was also the way she said it. erin i love you...you're so funny!
Girl #2 and Girl #3 mercilessly picking on Girl #1
Girl #1: FUCK YOU BOTH!
Girl #2: Been there...
Girl #3: ...done that.
Girl#1: That was so....wrong.
Girl #2 and #3 high five!
examples of great quotes:
"you're prettier when you don't talk."
"ha. that's a good quote."
"___________ just said she wanted to have sex with you."
"i know, i'm wondering why i'm still eating croissants."
"Yeah, I have no gag reflex."
"i bet guys love you for that."
"yeah, the gents dig it."
"i know tons of vegans because, duh, i'm a lesbian."
photos are welcome. they should have something to do with your quote. they should be behind a cut. let us know if they're obscene before we click.